The Plight Before Christmas

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Twas three weeks before Christmas,
With Bruce in Japan;
When a voice on the phone said,
"Hello!  This is Anne!"

"I'm in town for the weekend!
And should I drop by?"
I said, "YES!  Great to see you!"
But I thought, "Oh NO, WHY???"

Fourteen years had gone by
Since my old high school chum
Had laid eyes on me,
But the time had now come!

My stockings were hung
Dripping on the tub rod,
My hair was a mess,
But then, so was my bod!

The Somalis were swinging
On the garlanded tree,
So I said, "Okay guys!
It's the end of your spree!"

When the cats were locked up
I dashed hither and yon,
As the dogs sat and watched
Wondering what was going on.

I snatched up their Kong Toys
And filled them with treats,
Peanut butter and biscuits
To keep them busy with sweets.

With armloads of clutter
I braved every stair
But then soon I noticed
A bad smell in the air.

I spoke not a word,
But went straight through the door,
To find Christmas Pepper
Had crapped on the floor!

Her kittens were crawling
Through her litter pan
And she couldn't hold it!
When I came in, she RAN!

"Okay now," I said,
"I can handle this mess!
I can scoop every box,
And then shower, and dress!"

So, I did!  I scooped Pepper,
And Fool, and Etee,
I scooped Sugar and Kehlyr,
And Claire and Rusty.

I scooped Georgie and Meshach,
And then Bill, what a mess!
And then last of all
I scooped Ripple and Tess.

In record time then,
I had scooped every cat,
Then I went to clean up,
And, oh, gosh I looked fat!

With my hair wringing wet,
I heard a knock at the door.
"Oh my gosh, it's already
A quarter past four!"

I ran down the stairs,
And I noticed a smell;
Oh NO, NOT AGAIN!
This must be Cat Hell!

But this time the culprit,
Was my dog Reva instead.
She was emitting gases
That would cloud up your head!

"Oh dear, I should know
Not to give her P.B.!"
Then opened the door
To greet my company.

"HELLO!"  shouted Anne,
Looking young, trim and smart;
Then she gave a cough,
But stepped in, bless her heart.

And laying her finger
Aside of her nose,
She gave a little nod
But then suddenly froze.

"Come on in!" I choked softly
And made myself grin,
"Or, better yet, how about
If we go for a spin?"

"Why that would be lovely,"
She gasped and then fled.
So I got my coat
And a scarf for my head.

And I thought, "This is it!
I've gotten too off-the-wall!
WHY must I have
All these pets, after all?"

But we had a great visit
Down memory lane;
And we both made the promise,
To do it again.

And when I got home,
And kicked back in my seat;
And my Somalis came round
To purr and knead feet;

I realized then
Just how lucky are we;
Surrounded by those
Who love unconditionally.

And the cats licked my hand
And grinned up at me
I said, "Merry Christmas to all,
My four footed family!"

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